9th Dec 2010 in Personal
British people are polite. We say please and thank-you and get very uptight when other people don’t say please and thank-you. I have visited eight countries in the past few years, and the only place where people were more polite than me was Japan (+1 manner skills to me). So I strut around, thinking that I really appreciate it when other people hold doors for me or give me presents or drop my name, thinking that I always send thank-you cards and tidy up after myself, thinking I’m just so bloody nice. But when do I ever stop to give thanks for the bigger things? For my life and the way I get to live it?
Brits say thank-you, but we don’t give thanks. I don’t just mean that we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving (which, as far as I can tell, is something to do with families and turkeys and land-stealing and making peace or something); I mean that we just don’t stop to appreciate.
Because I love my life. I seriously fucking love it. I love waking up in the morning and I love getting into bed at night. I love my girlfriend and my family and my friends, I love my internship and my teaching job, I love my writing and my lit mag editing and my book reviewing. I even love my horrible, malformed novel draft.
I love the days when I don’t have to get up early, and I can just laze around drinking tea and reading books. I love the days when I get up pre-dawn to catch a train to another city for my internship, and I get to spend an hour watching the fields roll past and sipping coffee slowly so that the caffeine seeps into my veins. I love the work I do, and I love the work I don’t have to do.
It won’t last forever. Eventually I’ll want kids, and a bigger house, and a car, and shelves full of shiny things; and that means A Real Job. Real Jobs don’t let you read in bed all day or have three-hour lunches or decide not to do something just because it looks boring. Writing takes time, and A Real Job won’t give me time.
But that’s okay. It’s all okay. Because I’m happy, every day I am happy and content and excited and in love. Every day I am striving for more more more, but I am happy doing it.
This is cheesy and sentimental. I know it is. But just for one wee blog post, I want to stop complaining and questioning and struggling and feeling sorry for myself. And here it is. Tomorrow I’ll be back to the bitching and swearing, but for today I want to give thanks for this life that I have. So to everyone in my life who makes it what it is: thank you.