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I Fucked a Girl and I Liked It – Eventually

25th Sep 2010 in Writing

A few months ago I wrote an essay about lesbian sex for an anthology that paid £75. The anthology was never published. Damn, I thought to myself, I wasted a day of writing. And then I went and had a cup of tea.

It is a little-known fact that the genetics of British people mean that tea is linked to thinking. More tea = more thoughts. It took 1,539 cups for John Logie Baird to figure out the TV. It took 2,599 cups for T. S. Eliot to write ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’. It didn’t take Baudelaire any tea at all to write Les Fleurs du Mal, because he was French and needed only opium and absinthe.

Anyway, the tea fortified my brain and made me wonder if I could perhaps still get that £75 for the essay. And thus my plan was born!

If you have a spare £1 (which is US$1.50 and CA$1.60) and would like to read my personal essay, ‘I Fucked A Girl And I Liked It – Eventually’, then great! Click the Paypal button, donate your £1, and I will email you a beautifully-designed, 1,500-word PDF.

 

I Fucked A Girl And I Liked It – Eventually

 

I am an experienced sex writer: here I am at The Rumpus writing about being a teenage nude model, and here I am at F-Stop writing about being naked on the internet.

As an added incentive, if you donate an extra £1 (meaning a total of – gosh! – £2) then I will also send you my essay on adolescent cybersex, ‘Curiouser and Curiouser’.

If you read the essay and decide it’s worth more than £1, then great – simply donate again. If you think it’s worth £5, even better! If you think it’s worth £1,000 then I’m very flattered but I think that you have too much money.

Did I mention that I work as a waitress in a teashop for minimum wage? Every £5 means an ENTIRE HOUR I can spend writing instead of making cappuccinos. So do your bit for new writing. Support a new writer and get some fine literature for a bargain price.

 

I Fucked A Girl And I Liked It – Eventually PLUS Curiouser and Curiouser

 

WARNING: This is a sex essay, but it is not a sexy essay. It is written to inform and entertain, rather than titillate. If you want something to wank to, I direct your attention to the wonders of Google Images (don’t forget to switch off the safe search…)