Hello! I'm Kirsty Logan, a writer of novels and short stories. My books are The Gracekeepers, A Portable Shelter, and The Rental Heart & Other Fairytales.

Colouring Russia and Leonard’s Voice

Colouring Russia and Leonard’s Voice


Russia
Do something nice for yourself today: take some time to look at these photos from Russia in the early 1900s and listen to Leonard Cohen’s new album, ‘Old Ideas’. Perfect for a Sunday afternoon.

Things I Like #2: Passive-Aggressive Notes

Today, be entertained by the vast swathes of human emotion on display at PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

Here are my favourites:

#1. The Saddest Person In The World

I’m always impressed by such effective emotional blackmail. It’s not for amateurs.

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#2. BABIES???????????????

It is a big question, no doubt about that. But I do wonder whether that many question marks were really necessary.

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#3. Elaine’s Food

I have never experienced the unbearable pain of having someone eat food I left in the office fridge, so perhaps I am being harsh in mocking Elaine. But seriously, a whole drawer? I bet Elaine is everyone’s favourite person in the office. She seems like a right laugh.

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I hope that these cheer up your Monday – or even inspire you to vent your own rage in the form of notes.

Things I Like #1: Eurovision Singers’ Odd Syntax

If you’ve never lived in Europe, you probably don’t know what Eurovision is. In short: it’s an annual Europe-wide singing contest. Each participating country chooses a performer, and then they all get together for one huge horrendous performance-fest and multi-language voting. It’s ludicrous, over-the-top, and a political farce.

And yet there’s something appealing about it. There are many things to love about Eurovision: the so-bad-they’re- good songs, the tragic attempts at costumes and choreography, and – my favourite – the singers’ odd syntax.

Forty-three countries took part last year (bet you can’t name 43 European countries off the top of your head!), and while almost none of them have English as a first language, many of them sing in English. And herein lies the joy.

It’s Not You Really Need

Russia’s 2006 entry, ‘Never Let You Go’ by Dima Bilan, is three wonderful minutes of odd syntax:

My personal favourite comes in the very first verse: “Ardent look, but no heat, it’s not you really need”. Something about that missing word just makes me smile.

Also worth seeing are Dima’s impressive mullet and dance consisting mostly of thrusts. Check out the video at 1:10: the mullet is so beautiful it makes a girl cry. But don’t worry, she soon cheers up when Dima starts thrust-dancing again.

I Bought New Underwear, They Blue

Lena’s ‘Satellite’, the entry from Germany, won last year. Warning: this might be the most boring music video you’ve ever seen in your life:
The song is bizarre due to her London-accented singing – I can only assume that she’s been listening to a hell of a lot of Kate Nash songs – but my favourite line is “I bought new underwear, they blue”. There’s something so charming about the slight mangling of it.

Apree Cutston

My final piece of joy today is Armenia’s 2009 entry, ‘Apricot Stone':
Find someone who can’t see your screen, play them this song, and ask them to guess what the title of the song is. A Pre-Cut Stone? Apree Cutston? Ay Preecot Son? Bet they can’t guess.

What are your favourite songs with odd syntax or pronunciation?